her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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