Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
