you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
