It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
