I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize