what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
