grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize