Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
