Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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