Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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