Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I supernannyed him into submission
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
