Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
