So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just tell him i said nine months
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
