i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
