Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
