Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
false alarm. still invincible.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
