my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
