i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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