White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
