Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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