her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
