i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
