So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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