somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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