How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
