She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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