After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize