I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize