What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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