I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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