I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
