I seem to have left my pride at pride
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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