no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
