yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
