for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
