gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
