Michael Bay diarrhea
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
