were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
