I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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