You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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