She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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