how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
