He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
