so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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