if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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