i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
