okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
