I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
