I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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