her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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