He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
