did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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