Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize