from now on my penis is your penis
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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