He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
