You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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