Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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