1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
