I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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