Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
