Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
