hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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