I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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