You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
