Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
